December is one of the months of the year when I feel most unappreciated by the men I live with: CPA Boy and The Boy. (The other months are January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October and November. Ha!) (Our seven male rats all appreciate me but only for the morsels of food I serve them. Still, it's nice to be...well, you know, appreciated.)
I don't quite know why that is, or why it seems to annoy me more NOW than at other times. I guess it's a combination of A) time passing and B) them just not caring about the things I care about.
As for A, The Boy is now, technically, a grown-up. He is over the whole miracle of Christmas (like Sally Brown he really just wants cash from Santa, preferably in $50s and $100s) and if there are decorations or festive treats, fine. If there are aren't, that's fine too. Meanwhile CPA Boy is all partnered up at his firm and that means that he works way more than he did a few years ago when he was just a minion. I think he would probably agree with The Boy about the decorations and treats. (Plus he needs to get minions of his own at work!)
And B, well, do men really care one way or the other if the house is decorated? If left to them to do the decorating I know it wouldn't get done. Or would it? Since they assume I will do it then there's no need for them to worry about it. Would they plan festive treats? Maybe they would if I wasn't here to do it.
For example, CPA Boy and I use to write the Christmas letter together. One of us wrote it and then the other would edit and it would go back and forth until it was perfected. (Funny aside: my family always assumed *I* did all the writing; his family always assumed HE did all the writing. But we always did it together!) Once he was too busy to do this I soldiered on. I think I did it for one more year. And then stopped.
When you are in charge of everything but buying your own presents it gets pretty overwhelming.
Not once has Christmas season been whelming.
I shop for almost every single gift, wrap gifts, cook, decorate, plan the social calendar (granted, not that tough since it's almost always the same), and spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day trying to make sure that my husband and two brothers don't get irritated or lose their tempers. I am pretty sure this is why I have loathed Christmas for the past several years. It's EXHAUSTING.
Now I am plunging into the season not caring one iota (or any other Greek letter) whether the menfolk get irritated or not. I can't prevent it nor is it about me. (Thanks, therapy!)
I am not sure if what I am after is thanks. I don't think that's it. I guess there's some sort of intangible validation I'm after and I can't even define it to myself. All I know is that I'm ready to hit the road (maybe tag along with my bro to go hang out in So Cal with my sis-in-law for awhile) and see if any one even notices I'm gone.
I love CPA Boy and The Boy anyway but not the excess load of work that December brings. Ugh.That's what this is REALLY about: I'm a lazy being and December is MORE WORK and I don't really think it matters to guys!
Plus, we aren't even religious and I guess I think it's weird that we use Christmas as a time to buy stuff for each other (I really am all about the birthday!).
I have lost 17 pounds overall and there's still not a shred of difference except my wedding ring is no longer tight. THAT is good news. In general I am focused only on the next pound but I think it will probably be at least another 25 pounds before any real noticeable difference will occur.