Sunday, December 11, 2011 weird.

I was thinking about time last night. WHILE I was trying to fall asleep. One thing leads to another in my crazy, racing brain and it takes FOREVER before I actually get to sleep.

I was thinking: I will turn 50 in a couple of months. (And it's starting to kinda freak me out a little, btw.) Which means I have about 25-30 good (I hope?) years left. Sounds like a reasonably lengthy period of time, right? Then I subtracted, to see where I was 25-30 years ago. And, obviously, the answer was 20-25 years old.

How can this be? I remember being 20 as if it were yesterday! The last 30 years have FLOWN by. I don't like it.

For example, it seems like I worked my summer job at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk for quite a long time. Nope, it was only 2 months. And again I thought, How can this BE? But it was a mere two months. I started July 4th weekend and finished on Labor Day weekend. But I remember that particular summer so very well and it seems impossible that it was almost 30 years ago!

Example 2: In May of this year, the week my mom was in the hospital seemed to last forever as I was experiencing it. Once she died that week seemed to have flown by. And now 7 months have passed. So quickly.

Example 3: My grandparents are all gone now. I never got to know my dad's dad as he passed away a few years before I was born (which really sucks because, by all accounts, he was a gentle, wonderful man and I would have LOVED to have memories of him!). But the other 3 died in 1984, 1987 and 1992. And I can see and hear them so clearly in my head that I don't understand that it could be 27, 24 and 19 years since they've left us.

Last example: I was thinking about my son, who is now 18. Let's say he gets married and has kids about the same time I did. I will be in my 60s when any of this happens. Weird. But right now I still think "60s" sounds old. And yet it's just over 10 years away. And that time will pass so fast!


So it comes back to one thing: you just need to make the most of your time NOW.

Okay, two things: don't freak out about these things as I try to fall asleep.

YOGURT UPDATE!!! I am trying out Trader Joe's low-fat organic vanilla bean this week. It list "vanilla bean" as an actual ingredient so that's something. Generally I try to avoid things that are organic, only because sometimes I think it is just an excuse to jack up the price. Is "organic" even regulated by the FDA anyway?! Review coming after I eat it for a few days...

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