Monday, May 7, 2012

One of Those Weird Days

One year ago today my mom died. Thus the weirdness of the day. I don't even know what I feel. Still kind of numb I guess.

The thing I think in regard to my mom is usually this: Wow, it's been ______ months since I've talked to her.

And I never went more than 2 or 3 weeks without talking to Mom. And now that a year has passed it will get harder and harder to quantify that time in terms of months; the time will get rounded up to the nearest year instead. In other words, I will not one day think, Wow, it's been 4 years and 5 months since I've talked to Mom. I will automatically round to "over 4 years" or "almost 5 years". And that's sad.

One other interesting note: last year we noticed how every rose was in full bloom in the week after Mom died. So the blooming roses will always catch my eye and remind me of Mom from here on out.

2 comments:

  1. Mom would be out deadheading every less-than-perfect bloom. I will remember her each year when the NFL draft comes around. Flowers and football.

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  2. Ugh, I have been so sick this week, but I've been thinking of you all every day, particularly you and your dad. I hope you are getting through this awful first anniversary okay, and I *really* hope that your son steps up and showers you with love and sweetness on Mother's Day.

    You'd said that you couldn't hear your mom's voice in your head any more. Is that still true? I can hear her so clearly, calling me "Sugar."

    For me, your mom is an amalgam of horoscopes, The Enquirer, food/recipes, New Orleans and Southern graciousness, hair styling, taking pictures, and her family. Those are all the things I associate with her. She was always so kind to me and made me feel so welcome in her house. I love that I have some of her recipes.

    I will light a candle for you all in church tomorrow.

    xxx

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