I read various websites and several magazines. Whenever I see a book title that looks interesting I search my library's online catalog to see if I can request it. This is the main reason why my library queue never shrinks; I constantly add new books to the list.
Anyway, I read about a book on the A.V. Club website by a woman named Kate Harding called Asking for It: The Alarming Rise of Rape Culture---And What We Can Do About It. There is a lot of talk about rape culture these days and I think it sounds like a good overview of the subject.
I checked my library catalog by searching for "Kate Harding". Easy enough. Unfortunately, the book is not yet available in our library system. BUT. The three search results it came up with?
The catalog is JUDGING me! See?
Option #1: Did you mean "Nate Hawking" instead of "Kate Harding", IDIOT? Haha, fooled you! This book is in our system but NO COPIES EXIST FOR YOU TO CHECK OUT. Mwahahaha!
It takes THREE steps to master dirty talk?! But I'll never know what they are because you are taunting me with a book you don't even have! (Sorry, CPA Boy!)
Option #2: Harding? Hodding? What's the diff? Vikings probably had a rape culture too so read this book instead. You're an idiot so you probably won't notice the difference anyway.
Sounds interesting as Vikings do but I'm more concerned that the call number is "910.9163 KAYE". Where does THAT come from? Shouldn't it be "910.9163 CARTER"? Now who's the idiot?!
Option #3: Matched on "By The LATE Charles WAREING Bardsley". Late Wareing, Kate Harding. You know this is what you MEANT to type. Pretty impressive that Mr. Bardsley wrote a book AFTER he died. (No doubt you believe me because you're an IDIOT!)
This also sounds like an interesting book --- I married into an English surname --- but I already own a copy of People Named Smith which covers the history of the name so I feel I have that topic covered. Mr. Bardsley died in 1898 so his book was published posthumously in 1901 (researching all those Smiths and Joneses probably killed him). As a 53-year-old myself I am more concerned with the fact that he died when he was about 54 or 55! Yikes.